Twelve Steps to Being a Helpful Friend
You’re smart and cool, so you got my point. Below are the ways you can actually help your friends deal with interfaith relationships.
1. Never make disparaging remarks about the date’s faith. Better yet, make the religion issue a nonissue. It’s no one else’s business anyway.
2. Nix the religious jokes. They’re never funny.
|
|
3. Keep your friend’s personal life out of the office. (And while you’re at it, keep your own beliefs and love life to yourself, too.)
4. Never ask personal questions about anyone’s beliefs. However, get as much information as you can about the person’s religion in general. Remember that knowledge is power in all realms of the human experience, but most especially when it comes to interfaith dating.
5. Leave predictions about the future to cheap carny acts and other self-proclaimed mystics. Never presume to know how a relationship will turn out.
6. Support your friend. If you can’t support him or her, keep your mouth closed.
7. Never compete with your friend’s lover for his or her attention. There’s more than enough to go around. And if there isn’t enough time for everyone, be a grownup and wait your turn.
8. Don’t undermine your friend’s love life, no matter how noble you think your motives might be. Hands off.
9. Forgive and forget. We all have enough baggage without picking up some extra.
10. “Don’t make no mess, won’t be no mess,” a wise woman once told me. If your friend’s love life gets a little rocky, stand back. If your friend asks you for advice, stand further back. You’re not an expert, and any advice you offer can come back and bite you in the backside.
11. Don’t say things you’re likely to regret later. When in doubt, don’t say anything—even if you have to bite your tongue.
12. Never cut off contact over religious differences. There are enough troubles in the world without adding to them. Do your very best to keep the lines of communication open, no matter how different your religious beliefs.
Laurie Rozkis Ph.D.
